BEHAVIOUR

          Often, I hear people say that "his/her behaviour toward me was not nice". But what surprises me is that people try to moderate their own behaviour with others to reciprocate the way they have been treated. I am of firm belief that our behaviour is part of our character. So, is it possible to change our character? I hope not. From our childhood, we are taught by our parents a set of "do's and dont's" called "manners". At no point do our parents teach us that these manners are dependent on something. They just tell us what we are supposed to say and what we are supposed to do; how we are supposed to treat our guests. "Atithi Devo Bhava" is a live phenomenon in our homes and not just some hypothetical concept. How we treat anyone visiting us at home or our place of work is reflective what values our parents have taught us.

          Let us say, I go to meet someone and he or she just offers me a glass of water. Well, firstly I should feel bad only if my expectations from that person were different, or if this act or omission is the litmus test of his or her feelings for me. Whatever it may be, should that alter my way of receiving him or her? Should I not receive that person the way I have been groomed by my parents to receive a guest? Should I not be concerned that any lack of warmth in receiving and looking after that person will disappoint those who have brought me up with some family values?

         Agreed that today the pace of life has become very fast and we may not have time to look after a guest or a visitor in the manner that one would like to. But what does looking after involve? Offering good snacks, drinks, food or gifts? Or meeting the person with warmth and making sure he or she doesn't get an impression that he or she is unwanted or eating into your time. A smile and some friendly conversation making that person feel that you know him or her well enough. You may get good snacks and drinks and food at the most impersonal get-together and still feel unwanted and bored but there will be occasions when your college chai-walla will offer you a cup of tea and ask about your well-being and you'll feel really happy.

           At the end of the day, in a way, it is good that some people judge your feelings toward them by such superficial gestures and cool off because that's one way of separating the wheat from the chaff. They sure don't know who or what you are and don't even deserve to know you.