LOOKS ARE DECEPTIVE ...........

          Every morning, after waking up, most of us "get ready" and go out to work or whatever our vocation is. We spend a lot of time deciding what we have to wear and how we must look. So far so good. After all, we can't be expected to venture out in our night suits and appear unkempt.  But have we ever noticed that we not only change our clothes as per the occasion, but we also alter our personality when we move from one environment to another. At home, if it's a joint family, our attitude might border on being submissive and obedient, but if we are the head of a nuclear family the same personality suddenly becomes authoritative and to some extent rigid and autocratic. Our behaviour in the office with our superiors is that of a hard-working asset that needs to be considered an indispensable part of the team. We come across as an epitome of loyalty, integrity and moral courage; never letting the mask slip. In front of our subordinates and peers, the behaviour pattern changes totally. Even when we meet a close friend, somewhere deep down we are concerned with what impression we are casting on him or her in terms of our social, financial and professional standing. In front of a person of opposite sex, notwithstanding our existing status of commitment, we try to look like "God's answer" to his/her prayers as if there's a romantic song and dance sequence waiting to happen. In front of our children, we would definitely want to create an impression of being a mature, intelligent, dependable and never faltering person, even though the child with his/her limited knowledge would be able to see through the facade. Why do we do it? Are we so superficial that we have to change our colours like a chameleon? Or, is it our insecurity that makes us do it? 

        We ofter use a term "multi-faceted personality". I wonder if it is a compliment or an abuse. That could be because of my limited knowledge of the language or my understanding that personality should be a comprehensive package of various attributes and facets that a person has in his behaviour and attitude. How & why is it that the same soft spoken person outside who never ever swears becomes a loud person in private who adorns all his sentences with 'adjectives' is often beyond me. Why should someone use finesse in his demeanour outside but forget it when he/she is at home. Why can't we have a uniform behaviour pattern all along? I am not trying to castigate others but I am asking these questions to myself. Why can't we remain what we are? Why should I look refined and prim 'n' proper  and follow protocols & established procedures outside, while at home be comfortable with the most informal lifestyle. What is my natural self? And is it so embarrassing that I need to camouflage it?

            There are too many why's is what I am writing. But, all I am asking is for us to introspect whether we are gaining anything substantial by putting up this charade. And do we consider the person in front of us such an idiot that he or she can not make out what our true self is? I know that there are some "Do's and Don'ts" and societal norms that we have to follow, but within those norms can't we have a personality that is consistent? I hope that someday I will have the courage to be outside what I am at home. Hope someday someone will shake me up and ask "Will the real Atul Pandey please stand up?"